How to make popcorn

Hi all. I'll have a stockpile post up tomorrow, or later today. There's a lot of good stockpile buys out there and I'm putting the list together.

Somewhere in my recent Google travels, I came across some article that said microwave popcorn is bad for you because it has transfat, or maybe because it emits fumes, or possibly because it contains phalates. I checked out Snopes on the question and I'm no more enlightened on the matter than I was before checking it out. So here's the short version of why Mindy Likes to Coupon won't eat microwave popcorn herself and why she recently informed the progeny that she'll no longer be buying it:

It's expensive and it tastes nasty.

The butter in the popcorn isn't butter at all, it's some kind of chemical and the slick stuff that sticks to the side reminds me of an petroleum spill. Popcorn is so easy to make anyway, I don't get why anybody would settle for the oil-slicked styrofoam stuff in a bag when you can make your own in less time and without any tongue-twisting ingredients.

Ready? Here's the recipe:

1) put a few tablespoons of vegetable or corn oil into the bottom of a 2 or 3 qt sauce pan. You want enough to cover the bottom of the pot.

2) pour a layer of popcorn kernals into the pot, enough to cover the bottom.

3) cover, turn heat to high.

4) shake the pot, just like on those old Jiffy Pop commercials - this is your chance to burn a few calories in anticipation of this luscious, fluffy treat.

5) when popping slows, or pot lid starts to lift, remove from heat and empty immediately into a bowl big enough to hold the stuff, which you should have gotten out and had waiting on the counter in anticipation of this step. Otherwise, the popcorn will burn and be gross.

6) turn off burner, put pot back on stove, melt a tablespoon or two of butter in the bottom. Let it melt while you sprinkle a LITTLE salt over the popcorn.

7) Drizzle popcorn with the melted butter, toss it around with the knife you used to slice the butter pat to melt and you are DONE.

8) eat.

"But the dishes!" I hear you whining!

What dishes? A bowl and a pot and a butter knife? Get a grip. Eating involves crockery, that's why appliance manufacturers invented dishwashers. How much better than the box that needs to be recycled and that chemical-smelling bag that's destined for the landfill. I mean, you run your dishwasher anyway, right? May as well make it a full load.

And yes, it actually does take less time to make it on a cooktop than to microwave a bag of the stuff.

Happy Netflixing, tonight!